By Request

At your request, dear reader, I am posting the funny high school metaphors that were emailed around the office the other day.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another
city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Random quotes heard around the office

These were sent out around Christmas and I found them in my inbox and I thought they were too good to just disappear. :)

Random quotes heard around the office

“I exercise my lips quite frequently…in singing, mind you.” –Taleah

“I feel young at 39.” –Pat

“I would delete you as my Facebook friend, except we’re not Facebook friends.” –Danielle H.

“You are so calm, Liz, you make the ocean look pleasant. “ –Toni

“David is doing unnecessary drawer-grabbing!” –Liz

“I’m just a meditating mountain goat. On a mountain.” –Susan

“Anyone who is scared of Sharon needs serious help.” –Chantelle

“She even looks like an engaged person.” –Brian, talking about Kris

“Fine. I’ll just say that my legs got chopped off.” –Mindy D.

“I instill pride. Kinda like Satan.” –Toni

“I don’t feel like she was completely honest. Kind of. Maybe.” –Mindy D.

“The silence is driving Brian crazy, so I’m going to act as the replacement office iPod. *deep breath* OH jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way!” Etc, etc, etc –Liz

“The break room smells like…sugar.” –Sanita

“That girl—she can’t keep her hands off me.” –Jason

“I kind of like being a dingo!” –Mindy F.

Typical David Ray/Toni exchange:

“I saw a movie the other day that reminded me of you.” –Toni

“I didn’t know they made a Lance Armstrong movie!” –David

“They didn’t.” –Toni

“So it was a Michael Phelps movie?” –David

“No, it had nothing to do with the paragon of masculinity.” –Toni

“Then how did it remind you of me?!” -David

White out

Hey Mollie! Lets see that picture!

So for everyone else who has no idea what I'm talking about...there was a mysterious and wonderful occurrence on Thursday. Jason, Jamie, Mollie and I matched. It was a wonderful day...and rather slow where office responsibilities were concerned...so we took a picture. Hopefully it shows up soon... :)

YA Lit

Comrades, I need your assistance.

I am trying to start a project that links FA to my true love, YA lit (young adult literature, that is). I'm curious to find out how literature affects teenagers as they prepare for college. I want to ask students what books they read in high school that they viewed as significant. This, of course, also lends insight into how they define "significance." I want to pose the same question to y'all here:

What books did you read in high school? Which of those books did you find significant? Why were they significant?

Feel free to respond in the form of a comment to this post or a post itself. I will start:

I kept a long list of books I read in high school, and they ranged from children's chapter books to Stephen Hawking's The Universe in a Nutshell. I read books that were on BBC's list of the 100 best books of all time, and I also exhausted the local library's young adult collection. The ones that I found the most significant were the tragic ones where characters suffered and/or died. I also read a lot of "escapist literature," though I really hate that term, about princesses and imaginary kingdoms. I remember specific titles well, because I frequently return to these books: The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale, For Freedom by Kimberley Brubaker Bradley, The Immortals series by Tamora Pierce, among others. They were significant to me because I longed to relate to such people. I wanted to be like the noble women who made a difference in their worlds, or the French spy who sacrificed herself for freedom during World War II, or the little boy who learned about life despite or because of the death of his dogs. Also important to me were a few of the books that I read as required reading. Most of my classmates loathed these books, but I thought they were gems and thanked my teachers profusely for introducing me to them (Anthem by Ayn Rand, The Island of Dr. Moreau by H. G. Wells, Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, Shakespeare's King Henry IV, etc, etc). I loved finding the symbols in these books and connecting them to things I recognized in life. I discovered that my conflicts, however small, related well to the conflicts in literature. I was not at war, but I had tough classes that I felt were like battles. I was not being forcefully stripped of my identity, but I was trying to identify myself as unique among cookie-cutters. These books helped me see options for solutions and gave me the hope, the confidence, that I can do hard things.

Anyway, I hope this gives you an idea of what we're looking for. Have a go at it! You know how much FA loves reflections...

bright ideas

Susan and I had a conversation today about some of our best ideas.

Hers was chocolate chips that are made out of those chocolate oranges, so you can make chocolate chip cookies that have chocolate-orange chips in them.

Mine was a collapsible bowl like they make collapsible cups for cub scouts. That way you could carry around a bowl without having to worry about taking up so much space.

Also, Susan suggested a tow line for the hill on the South end of campus, so when it's icy in the winter, you just have to grab hold, and blissfully glide to the top.

Ok, so this wasn't the coolest entry ever, but I thought I would contribute since Toni's been pretty lonely on here lately.

:)

Ode to Boredom

Sometimes when I get bored in class,
I like to write poetry.
It's very good and it smells like grass.
And it usually rhymes.
And sometimes it has rhythm.
Sometimes.

Arr, she has a name.

Okay. I named her. And I gave her a little bit of a piracy flare. Start posting if you have things to say, and I know you all have things to say because I have listened to you in the office. Otherwise, you're just going to have to hear from me. All. The. Time. Which most people do not enjoy, but I don't know, maybe you do. And if that is the case, my heart breaks for you.

Break.

Hear it breaking.

The Christening

I need help naming this blog. "Nature's first green is gold" is not directly related to peer mentoring, and I want something a little more snappy and a little less sappy. (I can say this because I'm the one who came up with it!) Here are some of the ideas we had:

Models of Integration
Y Mentoring
Meant for Mentoring
Mentor Center
Striking While the Iron’s Hot
(something about) Connections
Give me mentoring, or give me death!
Off the Clock

Anyone have ideas?